SECTION THIRTEEN
POETRY PAGE NINE


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COLUMN FIFTY-EIGHT, APRIL 1, 2001
(Copyright © 2001 Al Aronowitz)


(Photo by Mary Rudge)

D A R C H I T E C T U R E

poem i

 

before i know who i am

i know i am

 

in the incense of their

my mother & my father's

intensity to not think of making love but

to make love       i smell myself

a gold liquid spinning off

light flecks flicking

flinging in the

aftersmoke of our ahhhmen

 

i join my mother & my father in

a bead of light

my skin

 

gold liquid honeysuckle cradle

i feel my flailing arms wings

the long stem my father is

in my mother's acute flower

yes

i slip through the gold fluid they

moan as if so much love

aches them to make

their own eden

 

yes

before i know anything

i know everything

 

yes i know

all is one

yes i know

honor you

yes i know

honor me

yes i know

love's divine

yes i know

yield my will

yes i know

seek the truth

yes i know

live now now

yes

 

i hover in love's darchitecture

a holding at point zero to be

 

i hover in love’s darchitecture for lifetimes of months

where they press me to

the all's purple lips

so i can hear & know intimately the

complete metaphysics of this ahhhmen gift

so i can find my way to what i will be called

 

if not petal then dirt

if not earth then air

if not breath then love

 

i will be called any one of a

thousand worthy names i

hear zooming off the

purple lips of nine months inside ahhhmen

inside the blood tapestries of air

 

inside the labyrinth circuits of gold fluid i

thirst on in my firsting

to be the light of my name

 

* * *

anatomy of a spirit

 

Reference here:

Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing

Caroline Myss  PhD  Harmony Books   Crown Publishers   NY  1996 

in which Dr. Myss asserts "all physical and emotional obstacles are illusions"  (See page 79, figure 5: The Divine Power within Our Biological Design)

 

* * *

loci

 

a where      aware

darchitecture

holding point at zero to be

could be

here there    anywhere

a womb  a tomb   a room   a djun djun

 

* * *

 

thee bridge there & back

 

inside out

 

it's not all that different

inside out the darchitecture's

as daddy would say

same difference

& mommy oh yeahhhh

 

outside in

 

yeah oh mommy &

difference same

say would daddy as

is darchitecture the out inside

different that all not is it

 

back & there bridge thee

 

* * *

 

 let me explain you how the all sounds

 

whoosh whoosh whooshibba shibba shibbop

& si sooooooooooooo & so si si so &

shibba shibba &

then the all say ya dig

 

* * *

 

my little i in tribe

 

i gush from one wet world to another

 

it’s daddy teaches me to swim

i feel my flailing arms fins

to begin on his courage

i go in alone

 

ha ha ha ha splash i can splash splash do this ha ha ha ha

plunk plunk where’s the plunk plunk bottom

daaaaaaa plunk ddy

 

from beach slope picnic perch with ma to me in dadoseconds

i am a mess of salt snot shivering knot around his neck

 

the ocean’s a snappy playful shark

unhappy i cannot take a joke

i lock in daddy until i can laugh & try again

 

a where      aware

darchitecture

holding point at zero to be

could be

here there    anywhere

a womb  a tomb   a room   a djun djun

 

i jump out daddy & ma into

the snappy playful tribe

 

i touch the walls of the tribe

their barb   their dialect  their flag  their fence

their waste  their baggage

i try to get the joke

& i ask

is it my little i in t-r-i-b-e?

 

a where      aware

darchitecture

holding point at zero to be

could be

here there    anywhere

a womb  a tomb   a room   a djun djun

 

is it my Big I come talking placenta

naked as grape skin &

boasting what slips my vine is wine in

the form of poems

 

a where      aware

darchitecture

holding point at zero to be

could be

here there    anywhere

a womb  a tomb   a room   a djun djun

 

why do i love the word together so

when i come talking together

mostly from inside the wall of my Big I self

 

a where      aware

darchitecture

holding point at zero to be

could be

here there    anywhere

a womb  a tomb   a room   a djun djun

 

i am a child pronouncing t-r-Big I-b-e to-get-her

but when i learn it t-r-little i-b-e to gather yeah together

what flows through me are rivers &

the word is a bridge

 

a where      aware

darchitecture

holding point at zero to be

could be

here there    anywhere

a womb  a tomb   a room   a djun djun

 

* * *

 

boom for real crack up room: laughing is crying

 

ha ha ho ho hee hee

t-r-Big I-b-e

the barb the lock the dialect the flag the fence

is what i see

what i know is t-r-little i-b-e

all is one

honor you

honor me

love’s divine

seek the truth

yield my will

live now now

 

what i know is

i myself am a darchitecture

a holding at point zero to be

at all times a construct of perception

seen & seeing

touched & touching

& so much more

 

i am a place telling myself

i am here when i perceive i arrive

 

i tell myself

you are i say to myself

in the all’s shibba shibba shibba ya dig kinda way

you are taking yourself too seriously

before

i go back in the boom for real crack up room

ha ha ho ho hee hee

 

i used to love the boom for real crack up room

better than a comedy of horrors

 

i used to love the boom for real crack up room

for the boom of it

 

now i love it like a mirror

ha ha ho ho hee hee

i say to myself

this room is nothing more than a comedy of horrors of who i have been

& i say to myself in all sincerity

ha ha ho ho hee hee

 

if i laugh loose of this comedy of horrors

won’t i be free

won’t i be free

won’t i

 

i tell myself this is not the time to make light of horror

i tell myself i am not ready to laugh

i tell myself i must

 

i tell myself this one

about old farthead hitler’s enema bag

about how a little fart can really hurt a lot &

if hitler had been a better speller he would have known then

r-o-l-a-i-d-s spells relief

ha ha ho ho hee hee

get it

no gas problem

ha ha ho ho hee hee

 

i tell myself

this one is better than aluminum foil in the first microwave

babies’ arms in hiroshima

blow their babies’ hands in the air

act like you just don’t care

part over here

ha ha ho ho hee hee

 

i tell myself

replace hiroshima with any place any time

ha ha ho ho hee hee

 

i tell myself

replace their with our

ha ha ho ho hee hee

 

i tell myself this one

about the africans slavetraded

ha ha ho ho hee hee

i say we had to prove to the world africans can get somewhere early

 so  get it   we got all the way to america

early for english as a second language class

or was it early for second class

ha ha ho ho hee hee

 

i tell myself this is better than

schizo j. red dress hoover dressing up his seventeen

transvestite personalities &

telling himself   screw you   no screw you

 ha ha ho ho hee hee

 

i ask myself

why must i break it down for you like this

ha ha ho ho hee hee

 

i say to myself

you cannot even say your comedy of horrors

ha ha ho ho hee hee

without feeling sad

i say to myself

laugh loose from this b movie of self

the one in which

the half live man is dragged through

the broken window’s jagged glass

inch by inch

ha ha ho ho hee hee

 

i tell myself

ha ha ho ho hee hee

i must laugh loose

ha ha ho ho hee hee

i tell myself i am not ready

ha ha ho ho hee hee

i tell myself i must prepare

to laugh en fin not at how vicious upon myself i have been

but to laugh one day

at what a fool i have been

to have so viciously misunderstood my purpose

& to ask myself

what took you so long

ha ha ho ho hee hee

ha ha ho ho hee hee

ha ha ho ho hee hee

 

* * *

 

a hole in my whole: 

"all physical and emotional obstacles are illusions"

 

ha ha ho ho hee hee

i get it

here is where i perceive the all

the darchitecture

the light of my name

one & the same

 

here i am not needy

i read & understand

anatomy of the spirit:

the seven stages of healing & power

i learn

all physical & emotional obstacles are illusions

i move on

 

i step through the seven stages of my being

based not in imperfection but in perfection

hah

 

i move on as if this poem is ajar asking & answering

why did i ever see horror as safe harbor

 

i move on to a new darchitecture

where

where light comes i come love

yes feigning my absences is a cheap cosmic trick

i am here

aware

anywhere

a room a tomb a womb a djun djun

 

i am here with you

my other self

necessary & not needy

familiar with a thousand darchitectures

a thousand taos

a thousand holdings at point zero to be

& knowing

 

my name is grass

follow my green skirts to a wall

where i started to dance but changed my mind i couldn’t

 

my name is funny jar

twist it closed before it opens

& in it

i am enough

 

well  enough of this poem

it’s time to party

 

i see a crystal city 

yes

tall glass building solar powered crystal city

yes

projecting sun in dancing prisms everywhere 

yes

 

i see wind totems in public parks

playing music off breezes

yes

 

i see vehicles energized by recycled & 

environmentally harmless fuels

yes

rolling along

each with their own sound so the city’s an orchestra

did i say

i see elders honored

i see children honored 

i see trees honored

i see

i see

i see a party

yes

 

shibba shibba shibba ya dig

i know ya dig

thank you

 

###

 

 

(written 051498-102598-120598)

(first performed 121298 at mike ayars’ creative meltdown)

 

 

 

when i first started writing darchitecture,

i didn’t know it but i wanted to have a dialog with myself about the perception of human perfection as it relates to how humanity is evolving.  to make the dialog publicly tangible, i personified humanity as myself struggling with the inevitable -- growth, capacity to love, redemption of perfection.  i started with darchitecture in may 1998 and finished it in december.  “poem i” just came pouring out in the midst of a digital video editing class i attended sundays at the coalition against police brutality on western & 29th here in los angeles.  i think the line “as if so much love aches them to make their own eden” is what guided me through the many questions darchitecture asks:  is dr. carolyn myss correct that the spirit can be measured as energy; is the body a finite place where the complete universe & infinity is perfectly mapped; what do i need to see home is infinity is darchitecture is self; when i know if safety is a natural subset of internalized perfection; will reclaiming perfection end inhumanity?  i don’t think i named darchitecture right away.  i think i had named it before then, but when i heard pietro pietro read “what did i come here for” at the allen ginsberg memorial on june 12th on the central park bandshell, i began to know what darchitecture meant.  it has come to mean “a holding at point zero to be” as if perfection stepped into a primary stage of evolution long enough to perceive it as such & emphatically affirm it is time to move on. 

 

darchitecture

invitation

FROM:                  LOVE IS A HOUSE LIGHTSHOW

Merilene M. Murphy

1939¼W. Washington Blvd., LA90018

323.419.0001; PeazRitr@mediaone.net

TO:             YOU

WHEN:                 NOW

WHERE:                HERE

WHAT:                 CELEBRATE LIFE

 

Darchitecture is a poem written by Merilene M. Murphy based on Dr. Caroline Myss’s Anatomy of the Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power& Healing.  Darchitecture is available as a book, performance, lesson plan & collaboration. 

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